I recently visited a Vietnamese Buddhist temple on a Sunday morning. Community and togetherness were foremost in my mind as I took my first look inside. Upon entering, I noticed people glancing at me from the corners of their eyes. Of course, I felt somewhat alien, lost, new, and out of place. I was a new kid in school!
A tiny, elderly lady approached me, asking if I needed directions. I explained that my curiosity about the temple, often observed bustling with people every Sunday morning, had brought me here. As an artist, I am captivated by how different lighting—be it from the sun, rain, evening sky, or streetlights at night—plays upon the temple's exterior. That morning, I decided to venture inside. I've always been intrigued by Buddhism; its values resonate with me deeply, almost as if they were part of my own skin and cells. The lady gave me this warm smile, it put me at ease. She mentioned that on Sundays, services are held on the temple's second floor. I nodded, listening intently. It was 10:15. She invited me to remove my shoes and explore the temple with a welcoming demeanor.
The lady gave me this warm smile.
Upstairs, the place was stunning – golden Buddha statues, and rows of little books on these stands. While I was absorbed in a book, a man informed me that it was their 'bible'. I absorbed this new information with a smile as he returned to his prayers.
I decided to meditate for a bit, planning to head out before their main service at 11. The lady I met earlier came upstairs and sat a few bookstands ahead. After a few minutes, she joined me and explained the service—its format, who leads it, and what follows. As we talked, the room began to fill. She encouraged me to stay for the service and even suggested staying for lunch, which was complimentary—a fact she conveyed with a wink. I was cautious, not wanting to be rude in a new community, so I remained gentle in my actions. I wondered if it would be impolite to partake in the meal without being a regular member.
The master monk entered, and the Yin monk approached the lady, likely having observed our conversation. He asked her in Vietnamese to keep me informed and invited me to lunch. She translated for me, and my heart filled with warmth once more. I felt incredibly welcomed by this community. They had not only ensured that I understood their values and culture but had also invited me to be part of it.
The service wrapped up after about an hour and a half. I might not have understood the chanting, but there was something about the sound and vibrations that just washed over me, leaving a trail of peace. As the service ended, the monk began handing out invites to their New Year celebration on February 9th. He even gave one to me. The kind-hearted grandmother, with a twinkle in her eye, urged me to come along, playfully pointing out that a lot of young folks would be there. Her warm, thoughtful invitation got me thinking about all the reasons I'd love to come back.
After the service, she guided me downstairs to these long, welcoming wooden dining tables. She had already saved a spot for me right next to her and her charming 80-year-old 'best friend'. Just before we started eating, she let me in on a little tradition – everyone at the table would join in for a prayer. It was a beautiful moment of unity. From a distance, the monk, with a caring tone, let everyone know in Vietnamese about the peanuts in the food. The grandmother quickly translated for me, ensuring I was in the loop.
Throughout the meal, the grandmother introduced me to everyone at our large table. We shared stories about our visits to the temple, our daily lives, and our collective love for Buddha, food, the sense of community that brought us all together.
This whole experience took me back to a conversation I once had with the network hub Ambassador team and Tracy. We were brainstorming about how we wanted people to feel when they join the network hub community, and how we hoped we would feel if we entered a new community. This day at the temple, it hit me – this was exactly it. Feeling welcomed and informed, met with smiles and open arms. A sense of belonging and joy, comfortable enough for open, honest conversations. And, most importantly, building those connections that make you eager to come back. Because in the end, it’s all about the people, the bonds we form, and gathering around a cause that unites us all.
Read our network values here.
- Shaylyn White Lately, I’ve been finding social media exhausting. I know I’m not alone—social media is designed to generate a fear of missing out, and that compulsion to keep checking can be pretty tiring. I know some people who've gone so far as to delete their accounts completely to erase the temptation to revisit whatever feed they’re trying to wean themselves from.
But I haven’t done that. Because for me, as with many others, social media has become one of my primary sources of news, and there is just so much news I feel obligated to keep up with these days. We’re living in a time of great political or social change, where something potentially globally significant is taking place at nearly every moment: how can I, in all good conscience, just turn that off?
Service providers may already be familiar with the term “compassion fatigue.” Compassion fatigue is also known as vicarious or secondary trauma—emotional pain that emerges in response to witnessing the emotional pain of others. A related but perhaps less familiar term is “crisis fatigue.” Crisis fatigue describes the sense of helplessness or despair that emerges from feeling overwhelmed by ongoing large-scale crises, such as climate change or the COVID-19 pandemic. The exhaustion I feel when I catch myself scrolling endlessly through feeds of bad news—that is a form of crisis fatigue.
While compassion fatigue can be considered a kind of occupational hazard, with professions most in contact with people who’ve experienced trauma (such as social workers and health care providers) being most at risk, the seeming omnipresence of social media means crisis fatigue can happen to almost anyone. All it takes is the feeling of being constantly bombarded by bad news.
No two people will experience crisis fatigue in exactly the same way, but symptoms are generally similar to those associated with burnout, such as weariness and a loss of appetite. However, one of the most common symptoms is apathy. People may struggle to focus on or care about news that would have normally held their attention because, while brains and bodies may be designed to recover from short-term stress, they’re less accustomed to ongoing stress. Over time, such stress can take a real toll on a person’s physical and mental well-being, and when paying attention begins to feel unbearable, even the most compassionate among us may find ourselves emotionally detaching.
It’s important to remember that crisis fatigue is not an individual problem. Crisis fatigue is born of people feeling overwhelmed by macro-level issues emerging from broader institutions, often at national or global levels. While people may be able to remove themselves temporarily, the problems themselves remain, as do the individuals still caught within them.
How, then, can we encourage people to work for social change without wearing themselves out?
Framing plays a key role in how social issues are understood and responded to by the public. When a problem is urgent, it’s common for people to use urgent framing in the hopes of getting and keeping the public’s attention. For example, when it comes to interpersonal and gender-based violence, awareness campaigns may use graphic imagery to emphasize the harm violence causes as a way of establishing the necessity of preventing further harm.
But crisis fatigue means such messaging can actually work against violence prevention efforts. The problem of interpersonal and gender-based violence may be urgent, but for people already feeling overwhelmed by the sense that the world is full of crises they cannot help with, all alarmist messaging does is reinforce their sense of helplessness. It can even lead people to settle on inaction—after all, it’s easier to tell yourself a problem is insurmountable than it is to keep struggling against it. If things are going to be this bad forever, why bother?
In some ways, crisis fatigue is the product of feeling distanced from the rest of the world. We see the impact of collective crises, but not how they’re being addressed, and so we struggle to believe it's possible for anyone to make a difference. That’s why, instead of framing issues around the severity of a problem, it can be more effective to keep discussions solutions-oriented and aspirational, as that’s likelier to reignite people's motivation.
It's important to seek to hold space for ourselves as well as others. Holding space for ourselves means staying grounded in our own needs so we can better recognize when it’s time for us to rest and replenish, and this, in turn, helps us better support others. The compulsion to engage with bad news is often a non-productive one, and it’s healthier and more effective in the long run to use our time and energy with intentionality.
For more information on holding space, you can visit this link. And remember: while it's not possible for any one person to solve every crisis in the world, we're not alone in the world, either. By showing ourselves what grace and compassion we can, we make it easier to bring ourselves more fully into our relationships with others, and if crisis fatigue truly is a product of feeling distanced from the world, then perhaps there is strength to be found in that.
-Shaylyn White
When we gather people to talk about what’s needed to reduce gender-based violence in Saskatchewan, there’s always one thing that tops the list – education and awareness.
There are any number of public education and awareness campaigns throughout Canada aimed at reducing and preventing gender-based and interpersonal violence and abuse. We’ve been asking ourselves: How do we work collectively and at scale to have the impact we are looking for? What is it that makes education and awareness activities and campaigns effective? If the goal is creating change, when are people more likely to…you know, change?
We’ve spent the summer a strategic learning process aimed at answering these questions. These are big questions to explore. Here’s some of what we have come to understand.
Change doesn’t happen instantaneously
You may already be familiar with the Transtheoretical Model of Change, also known simply as the Stages of Change. It’s a model in health psychology used to explain or predict an individual’s likelihood of succeeding or failing in achieving a behavior change. The stages are:
1. Pre-Contemplation
2. Contemplation
3. Preparation
4. Action
5. Maintenance
People aren’t likely to leap from never having even thought about a potential change to actually making that change, let alone keep it up long-term. Because of this, initiatives looking to create social change are likelier to find success when their activities are long term and include reinforcing the rationale for why the change should occur at all. Otherwise, there’s little chance of gaining or sustaining participant interest and investment.
It’s about more than just the message
In science communication, the Information Deficit Model suggests that if people are reluctant to engage with or act on new ideas, it must be because they don’t have enough information yet. The more they know, the likelier they are to embrace the ideas being put forward. But…is that really true? People lead complicated lives! They might be busy, tired or distracted—is bombarding them with facts and information they don’t have the time or energy to think about really the best strategy?
Heuristics are mental shortcuts or rules of thumb that people use to speed up their decision-making process. When someone is busy, or tired, or distracted, they’re more likely to rely on heuristics to determine how they’ll respond to new ideas. These heuristics are typically informed by pre-existing mental models or dominant social narratives; in other words, when considering how to act, most people will subconsciously turn to their understanding of what has been determined to be “correct” by the social groups they value or align themselves with most.
People are more likely to engage with new information when it supports or affirms their identities (who they see themselves to be) and aligns with their values. At the same time, they’re more likely to reject information that shames, challenges, or threatens them. If we want our messaging to be effective, the ideas we’re putting forward should make people feel good about themselves, their actions and how they want to be seen.
Effective messaging
If messaging is overly negative or jarring, people who rely on heuristics or conditioning are likely to reject it. On the other hand, if your message is empowering, people will be more willing to consider it. If message delivery is combined with follow-up opportunities for dialogue and reflection, the extent and direction of the consideration will be affected. This is likelier to lead to behavioural changes that are longer-lasting overall.
In the article “The Science of What Makes People Care”, Ann Christiano and Annie Neimand cite the documentary “The Game Changers” as an example of effective messaging. Most experts agree that reducing meat and dairy consumption would be beneficial for both the climate and for individual health, but asking people to sacrifice a deeply ingrained habit of theirs for the sake of an abstract, faraway future isn’t likely to work. “The Game Changers” instead encourages people to adopt a plant-based diet to achieve their fitness goals. This re-framing gives people a stronger sense of control and fulfillment and is likelier to spread amongst other community members who also value fitness.
Explore further with us
You are invited to join us as we explore next steps in understanding and increasing the impact of violence prevention education and awareness in Saskatchewan. We’re hosting a working session on Monday, September 18 from 1-3 pm. In this session, we will look at the elements of successful education and awareness activities look like and how we might a coordinated, movement building approach to increase the chances of long term change.
Click here for more information and to register.
- Marley Novotny
Throughout my time with STOPS to Violence this summer, I have had the opportunity to connect with many of the wonderful partners and people from different organizations and communities. Through this, I learned a good amount about relationship building and engagement, especially involving the personal responsibility that attributes to healthy and beneficial communication, and how important relationship building and engagement is to the network mindset.
I believe much of my learning about relationship building and engagement came directly from exploring what a network mindset is. A network mindset is relationship oriented and excels and grows from the webs and ties of the relationships within the network. A network will only be as strong as its relationships and connections are. You can achieve much more through collaboration, and this requires the consistent cultivation of relationships and connections. Through my learning and exploration of these concepts, I’ve found imagining a network as one big spider web has helped create a strong mental image for myself. The structural integrity of the web improves more and more as new threads are added, just as the structural integrity of a network improves more as new relationships and connections are made.
Exploring the process of outreach and engagement has caused some major self-reflection and thoughts about what engagement is, and how to adjust our approaches to be more accommodating to the people you want to connect with. It requires effort towards trust building, which needs focus on improving ourselves to be able to demonstrate consideration and respect, be open and transparent with the way we speak and to work on how we listen and process information that’s being presented to us. These are just a few important steps that I believe help in building a safe environment to communicate.
Trust building is vital to the engagement process. The building of trust promotes transparency, respect, and active listening which raises the potential of better conversations, provides more benefit for both people and creates a safe space for communication. An important part of communication and connecting in a network involves creating these safe spaces for conversation to cultivate the necessary environment to openly share and feel comfortable as well. I feel as if there is an initial fear of connection and that focusing on showing respect, being transparent, and actively listening can combat the initial resistance that may come with engaging with others.
While adjusting my approach to reaching out, I focused on showing respect for people’s time through increased preparation and planning to maximize the quality of time spent with others. I wanted to show that I value the time and energy someone is willing to offer to a conversation with me. I feel that this preparation and planning process can be an extremely good habit to follow in any form of communication, whether it be a large amount or even just simple preparation.
As I focused on transparency and relationship building, I found myself diving further into conversations and sharing about my current studies. In return, I asked about the work and lives of the people I meet with. These conversations supported the building of trust I was aiming towards and allowed me to feel stronger relationships and connections being built in the process. Opening yourself up, sharing about your journey, and listening to someone else’s journey is important to establish a stronger connection.
Finally, I focused a lot on practicing and improving my skills in active listening. I feel that many people can relate to having conversations where you share something with someone and their response seems to not acknowledge the information you’ve shared. It feels like they sort of glance over it. This can be very demotivating for genuine connection and meaningful conversation. I practiced actively listening to what I’m hearing, taking a moment to process, and responding with an answer that acknowledges what’s being shared with me. This was to show that I value the information that I’m listening to through my response. I believe active listening is a skill that everyone should practice as it supports the focus on what someone is telling you, rather than focusing on what you are going to say next.
I believe that what I have learned and experienced this summer will translate beautifully into understanding the importance of networking for myself for career purposes and for social purposes in general. I believe that I am now much more well equipped with the tools to properly make deeper connections with others and cultivate stronger relationships in my everyday life. I feel very fortunate to have been a part of the STOPS team this summer.
Want to learn more about the ‘network mindset’? Take a look at this article from Converge: The Network Mindset: Scaling Out, Not Up | by David Ehrlichman | Converge Perspectives | Medium.
By Tracy Knuston
Meet Wilson and Alfred. This is who I spend most of my days with. Both are 'rescues' who have had the type of experiences with humans that mean they have a different take on how to operate in the world. Of our team of three, one is a Vegas street dog, one is a Saskatchewan stray and me, a stray of a whole other kind. We are all different in our own ways however there is one thing we all have in common – our nervous systems carry stories of the lived experience of trauma. These stories in our nervous systems mean that we tend to view the world as mostly not a safe place to be. While it’s not completely wrong, it sure can cause challenges when we want to make connections with others.
This isn’t unique to our triad. Most everyone holds stories in their nervous systems because of lived experience with violence in some way or another. We’re working on shifting our views of the world. We walk a lot to practice the things we are learning about how to be out in the world of humans. Some parts are about safety and trust, which are important. Other parts are about 'manners' and interacting with people in a way that builds relationships. Our focus is to become a strong team that trusts each other and then can trust other people to join our team. Steep Hill, Steep Learning, Together…On one such walk, we went for a hike on the trails near our house with the intent of a short, easy 3 km stroll. Their person (yes - that's me) meandered off into imagination land and missed a turn. The easy, short walk turned into nearly 8 km of steep hills, mud and trails that we hadn't been on before. Scooby-Doo says it best... 'ruh roooooh!' I was worried. We aren't all that good at this kind of thing yet and my bones aren't as strong as I would like them to be.This two-legged human in the team did not have an easy time. And my two teammates knew that. They pulled me up hills, waited while I slid down banks and stopped to encourage me when I had to sit down, catch my breath and try to figure out where the heck we were. I was the navigator, despite my earlier mistake, and they were the muscle. They did what they knew how to do based on their natures - stick together, push, pull and pause. Look out for each other, rest when you need to and keep going because the destination could be right around the next corner. (Did I mention that these two are my best teachers?)And we did it. And we will do it again because now we know we can. Integrating Alignment for Collective Action …It reminded me a lot of collaborative work and network building. We all come from different places, with different values and ways of working. We all have different lived experiences that make us who we are. It takes some good navigation, a heap of trust building, a fair bit of stamina and lots of working together. And when our own stories of trauma show up in the room, when we end up in places we didn't expect or when the going gets a little gritty, we have a choice. Lean in, pull together, work from strength and find a way through together- or go off on our own and hope we end up in the same place somehow. Or not. The Stanford Social Innovation Review is one of the thought leaders that we follow at STOPS to support our learning on what it takes for deep collaboration for effective long term change. The Collective Impact model originated with a paper by John Kania and Mark Kramer in 2011. This framework and body of practice has evolved quite a lot in the past 11 years. Early in 2022, a paper was released called ‘Centering Equity in Collective Impact’ that offers a proposed revised definition of the concept of Collective Impact: “Collective impact is a network of community members, organizations, and institutions that advance equity by learning together, aligning, and integrating their actions to achieve population and systems-level change.”
Centering Equity in Collective Impact (ssir.org)
That’s a great description of the STOPS to Violence Network as well. Learning together, aligning and integrating actions for systems change is slow, steady work. Where indeed, like the efforts of my canine-and-me team, we push, pull and pause and grow stronger together. At STOPS, we’ve been busy ‘behind the scenes’ the past several months as we lay the foundation to support next steps together. Keep an eye out for upcoming meetings and opportunities like the Network Exchange, Saskatchewan Violence Prevention Week and the Virtual Community Hub - cornerstones for aligning efforts and acting together. Interested in learning more about joining the STOPS to Violence Network? Email me at tracy@stopstoviolence.com and let’s walk through what that looks like. I promise not to get too lost… but hey. At least we will be together.
Over the last many months, I have found myself on a solo adventure managing and taking care of my home on a small acreage in rural Saskatchewan. Having grown up as a farm kid, this is just fine with me. I also love to troubleshoot and solve puzzles - of which there are many.
One of my recent adventures involved re-spooling the trim line on the weed trimmer. Because really “how hard can it be?” (There's that's sentence that often precedes a detour on any adventure!). So I headed down to the local store that sells all things weed trimmer related, bought myself 50 feet of new line and headed home to take care of this easy, peasy task.
I got myself settled in my garage and took my trimmer apart. I tried this, tried that and then set it down knowing full well I wasn't going to ‘just figure this out’. And so off I went to summon the Google for better instructions. Fifteen minutes later, I was back in business.
Yard work is some great pondering time for me. It offers me the space and time to sit with the juicy, random questions that show up in my consciousness. This time it was the question of ‘Geez what did I do before Google?’ (Yes, I am older than the Internet.)
You know what I did? I got on the phone. I started calling people asking my questions - sometimes because I was trying to figure something out and other times just because I had a burning question that I wanted to know other people’s thoughts on. These phone calls most often transformed into a little visit, a check in and a way to reach out to people to say ‘hey I'm thinking about you’.
The Google gave me my answer but it didn't give me connection. Didn't give me a ‘hey… I have a question…’ opportunity for conversation. Sometimes I will post my curious questions on Facebook or send a text here and there. There's a little more interaction but it's still not the same. It’s a transactional exchange. There's no depth. There's no heart. There’s no presence. I still have plenty of questions but very seldom have the deep conversations I used to.
Part of this solo journey I'm on also includes rebuilding relationships and re establishing a circle of support for myself. As I work to build my own natural supports, I think a lot about our shared work focusing on strengthening natural supports to assist survivors of gender based violence and their families. Building deep relationship these days is much different than it was 25 years ago. It challenges me and my introvert nature and I find it difficult at times. I think about people who are in situations where they are experiencing violence, likely isolated and mentally and emotionally exhausted. All of this is further impacted by the past several years of COVID isolation. ‘Get out there and meet people.’ It’s not as easy as it sounds.
And so the string on my weed trimmer has opened up an exploration into what building natural supports really looks like these days. In the busy-busy of day to day life, made more intense by the zip, zip, zip of transactional exchanges, are we really hearing each other? Are we really seeing each other? What does it take to build deep, caring relationships in our current times? When we become isolated, how do we reach out to others? Who do we even reach to?
These are all questions that we're looking to explore with our Network Partners in the coming months as we dig into what it means to strengthen natural supports for people who experience violence and people who use violence. A UK Study released in June 2022 called ‘Protocol, Informal social support interventions for improving outcomes for victim-survivors of domestic violence and abuse: An evidence and gap map’ offers insight into the critical roles and high level of influence that natural supports provide. Check it out at this link.
By Nofa Slaeman
At STOPS to Violence one of our key roles is to bring people together and coordinate efforts to create greater impact as a provincial network. The Moose Hide Campaign held May 12, 2022 provided an opportunity to gather together. It is a great example of a well stewarded, well held and coordinated campaign that all can host and/or participate in taking a stand against violence. The Moose Hide Campaign is an Indigenous-led grassroots movement of men, boys and all Canadians - standing up to end violence against women and children.
It started with a simple invitation to attend an information session provided by Moose Hide Campaign co-founder, Raven Lacerte, and CEO, David Stevenson, hosted by STOPS to Violence. This event was held on January 6, 2022 and drew many interested network partners and others from across the province. Not surprisingly, with the word out to many, and as ‘somebody told body else’, many efforts were put into organizing varying ways of participation in the campaign.
To create space for a shared experience, reflection, and discussion on the day of Moose Hide Campaign, STOPS To Violence held a live stream session. Approximately 60 people from across the province joined to watch the live stream of the national opening ceremonies, which included messages from the co-founders and keynote speakers. During the session participants also had an opportunity to reflect and share their insights in small group discussions.
This opportunity to gather provided a chance to meaningfully reflect and renew our commitment to taking a stand against violence towards women and children. It gave those in attendance an opportunity to speak what they felt and heard from the speakers and the founders of the Moose Hide Campaign. For me it was to really reflect on who I stand for and renew my commitment to continue to stand for the things that matter most even when the conversations and actions are difficult to do.
We were not alone in gathering and participating - individuals, organizations and communities across Saskatchewan raised awareness and participated in the Moose Hide Campaign. Some of the efforts that we have heard about, to date, include:
Hundreds of students from the community of Indian Head joined for a walk to end violence against Indigenous women and girls. See article here.
Flying Dust in Northern Saskatchewan organized a father-daughter dance as well as an evening held for men to spend with Elders.
The Regina Sexual Assault Centre and Regina Transition House coordinated and partnered with Regina Public Library to spread awareness about the Moose Hide campaign by setting up a display with education materials and Moose Hide Campaign pins.
In Saskatoon, students from10 different grade 8 classes raised their voices for change by gathering for speeches, music and dance followed by a march to Saskatoon City Hall. See the article here.
The First Nations University held an Indigenous Fatherhood Panel and offered Moose Hide Campaign pins on the day of the campaign.
Thank you to all those who wore a pin, participated in the STOPS to Violence live stream session, and to all who held walks, events, and conversations. Our collective efforts create greater possibilities for change.
Email: info@stopstoviolence.com
Phone: 306-565-3199
