If you’re a man in an abusive relationship, it’s important to know that you’re not alone. It happens to men from all cultures and all walks of life. However, men are often reluctant to report abuse by women because they feel embarrassed, or they fear they won’t be believed, or worse, that police will assume that since they’re male they are the perpetrator of the violence and not the victim.
Traditional gender roles confuse the matter. Aside from the embarrassment over admitting abuse, abused men may feel that they are somehow less of a man for “allowing” themselves to be abused. But just like women are told when they are abused. Abuse is never the victim’s fault. This is no less true just because the victim happens to be male.
An abuser may hit, kick, bite, punch, spit, throw things, or destroy your possessions. To make up for any difference in strength, they may attack you while you’re asleep or otherwise catch you by surprise. They may also use a weapon, such as a gun or knife, or strike you with an object, abuse or threaten your children, or harm your pets. They may verbally abuse you, belittle you, or humiliate you in front of friends, colleagues, or family, or on social media sites. The abuser may be possessive, act jealous, or harass you with accusations of being unfaithful. They may threaten to leave you and prevent you from seeing your kids if you report the abuse.
Men who experience abuse might have challenges and concerns including:
- Obligation. You might feel a sense of obligation to be a leader in your family or to provide for them.
- Protecting children. You may be afraid to leave your children alone with your abuser or that if you leave, you will never be allowed to see your children again. You may be afraid that the abuser will tell your children that you are a bad person or that you don’t love them.
- Assuming blame. You may believe it is your fault or feel you deserve the treatment you receive. You may feel responsible and have an unrealistic belief that you can and should do something that will make things better.
- Dependency. You may be mentally, emotionally, or financially dependent on the abuser. The idea of leaving the relationship creates significant feelings of depression or anxiety.
WHO to Contact
Regina and area
Regina Sexual Assault Line
South West Saskatchewan
Southwest Crisis Services
1-800-567-3334 (toll free)
Moose Jaw and area
Moose Jaw Transition House
Yorkton and area
Project Safe Haven
1-877-444-2836 (toll free) Province wide
Battlefords & Area Sexual Assault Centre
1-866-567-0055 (toll free)
Hudson Bay and area
Hudson Bay Family & Support Centre
Lloydminster and area
Lloydminster Sexual Assault and Information Centre
RCMP Victim Services
RCMP Detachments – check your local phone book or go to
Mobile Crisis Services Regina
Saskatoon Crisis Intervention Service
Prince Albert Mobile Crisis Unit